Athlete's Foot(Ball)Times
HES North Wing Division
OSU Campus

Dateline: November 21, 1997. . .AFT Vol.1, Iss.12

Philips Flew the Coup

Lawrence Phillips received the boot from St. Louis this week and will not be playing in next weeks game for the Reddog Roughers.

Coach Wagner exclaimed, "Just when things were starting to turn around! It always Happens! If it is not an injury or lack of respect, They become a **censored** Free **censored** Agent! The **censored** won't play for my. . . team anymore!"

This constant raving went on for about thirty minutes in Coach Wagner's office Friday night when he finally got the news. Rumor has it that Philips was starting against the Pack this weekend. He refused to answer the big question, to this reporter, if he would put Ricky Watters in his place or if he was going to look for a last minute replacement.

"If I put in Watters. . . or not, you'll just have to wait until Sunday night or whenever the Commish gets around to sending out the current roster." stated Coach Wagner. "I am not saying anymore than that!"

And that was the end of the interview as the phone rang and this reporter was asked to finish up and leave immediately. Who was the phone call for? Who knows. Ricky? Marcus? Hoffa? Head cheerleader of the plunk-ettes? Wait and see in the next issue. . .

Jump Start: (on Week 14... Feel free to respond to any of the allegations, not just your own)

Plunkett, I have heard some rumors about mistreatment among the ranks of the plunk-etts. Care to elaborate?

Commish, I have heard that you almost, accidentally forgot to add up some of the No-shows points. Is this true? Care to explain? Was it an accident or an incident? Can I quote you on that? By the way, are you of any relation to Coach Glenn. . .a.k.a . . . Coach Muske?

Lance, there rumors are that your team is not in the gutter yet and you are still above the Cheeseheads. Do you think that you ARE above the Cheeseheads? Are they not good enough for you?

Jennifer, congratulations I think you have broken the record for the longest time at the end in the league. What are you going to do now?!!

Christine, If you do win the league championship, will you share it with the rest of us since we basically drafted your team for you? If you don't win, will you blame us for the loss?

. . . and LAST but certainly not LEAST. . . (drum roll). . .

Michael, there have been allegations of mental abuse, drugs, and underhanded dealings associated with your team. Are you actually part of the Mafia? Isn't your family the infamous. . .uh oh. . .What are you going to do with that revolv...(BANG)...uh. . . Byeeeee...........