Athlete's Foot(Ball)Times
HES North Wing Division
OSU Campus
Rating: PG-13 (innuendoes see if you can catch it...It was unintentional, but I left it in
Dateline: December 8, 1997 . . . AFT Vol. 1, Iss. 19
For Sports Stats and Controversy For All
The most mild manor coach in the league leaps straight in to controversy faster than a speeding bullet with his alter ego, JockReport.
A few of the coaches might have been offended over the last two issues of the Athlete’s Foot(ball) Times, but this publication found only overwhelming support from the majority of coaches in the league.
Coach Robertson commented, “I think you ought to keep writing these articles no matter what anyone thinks.”
“I think (AFT) is doing great. I look forward to seeing how they use my quotes in the next issue every week.” Stated Coach of Glenn’s Gorillas.
An as always Coach Plunkett holding the number one spot in the league is “as always, enjoying life and not taking things too seriously.” as he puts it best of all.
There are some righteous people in every bunch that always seem too good for certain topics. Coach Wagner of the Roughers was overheard saying, “There is just no room for this kind of filth. I can’t believe the length that the media goes just to get readers.” However, Coach Wagner did not rush to ask to be removed from this publication’s emailing list after he stepped down from his pulpit.
Coach Wagner ought to be preaching more to his players and less to the Press. It seems that his team tied once again with his opponent, Glenn’s Gorillas. Both teams scored 26 points with Roughers kicker from New England and his quarterback, Brunnel, bringing in the majority the points. The Gorillas did just as well, except by using their receivers, Kirby, Carter and LaFluer.
The Papa’s came out of the closet this weekend with their quarterback, Sterwart, single-handedly beating the No-shows measly score of 16 from her Cincinnati Kicker and Barry Sanders only touchdown this week. Papa’s really must be heading after both those awards for most points in the league.
Plunk’s Pack Plummets as the Cheesiest team in the league almost doubles the score of the Pack and almost outscoring the Papa’s as well. Coach Jennifer is heading for that third place position so the Roughers and the No-shows better stay alert.
The first playoffs have been decided. Roughers get to repeat their defeat of the “LOWLY” Gorillas according to Coach Wagner. However, should he really be counting the bananas before they’re peeled. On the other side of the playoff field we have the highest scoring team in the league versus the Cheesiest team in the league. It looks like the female coaches segregated themselves on one side of the playoff field with the Papa’s. Remember girls, he is a married man. Behave yourselves!
Coach Wagner pointed out that there was still a good chance that the Papa’s and the Roughers could fight it out for the championship if the Roughers can beat the Gorillas and the Pack and the Papa’s can stay on top of the two women that he is up against.
AFT Rankings (again done with week 13 schedule):
- Pack 9-6-0
- No-Shows 8-6-1
- Roughers 7-5-2
- Cheeseheads 6-7-1
- Papa’s 5-8-1 (only reason he isn’t last is because of being the highest scoring team in the league)
- Gorillas 5-8-1
