Dateline: August 14, 1998 - AFT Vol. 2, Iss. Pre-season 3

New member!!! Any questions???

Rating: PG

Coach Johnson(s) Keeps 'em Guessing

Rating system (self-rated):
G - Good
PG - Pretty Good
R - Ridiculous
NC-17 - Not Commendable by people over 17 years old
XXX - Up way too late surfing only God knows what last night on the net. Better just delete it!

If anyone watched the preseason games between Tampa Bay and Miami Thursday night, You saw what Coach Johnson,not of the NoShows, of Miami would do to win. Coach (Christine) Johnson still responds on email as a NoShow, but has contacted this reporter saying she is "in cognitio" which means she is probably scrunched in front of ESPN picking her draft choices.

Coach Johnson (to avoid confusion with AFT participants we will call him Jimmy) started off the game with a couple of onside kickoffs, which they recovered. The Dolphins won by one point over Tampa Bay.

Coach Jimmy also is said to be strict about a players commitment to the game. By this I mean that if one of his players gets injured and won't be able to give his all he could be benched until he can live up to the coaches standards.

We here at AFT Headquarters in (XXXxxx Censored by A National Security Department xxxXXX) thought that sounded a little like one of our coaches last year and decided to get his opinion.

"I think the coach has that power," responded Coach Wagner of the Reddog Roughers, "Players are like little insect pests that you have to make sure they stay in line. I would have never have made it to the championship without squashing and sweeping away those players who couldn't cut it immediately."

We thought Coach Wagner was being a little rough on the Roughers, but he reminded us, "ROUGH! What do you mean?! I made it to the playoffs didn't I! If Jimmy Johnson would have been a little tougher, he might have done the same!"

Of course, AFT Fantasy Football does not stand behind comments made by individual coaches.

Reports are coming in that the upcoming draft will be held in three weeks or so. I hope you have been getting you team together. How do you coaches feel about letting returning coaches reserve one of their players from last year as their first pick. Can we get an agreement and ruling on this?

Also, We have a new Coach filling the space of are resident Cheesehead, Coach Jennifer, who will not be returning for the 1998 season. She is Coach Rachel N. of the Rebel Rousers. We have currently six teams as we did last year (listed in order of importance - just kidding):

Reddog Roughers - Coach Michael Wagner (& cute, Irrepressible JockReporter)
NoShows - Coach Christine Johnson

Mysterious Rebel Rousers - Coach Rachel N. (Rumored to have been an advisor to several of AFT's coaches last year. She wouldn't comment on which one.)

Papa's - Coach Lance Robertson
Glenn's Gorillas - Coach Glenn Muske (& alter ego The Commish)
Plunk's Pack - Coach Scotty Plunkett (& ever-feminine Plunketts)

If you have changes to your team name or just want to comment about my reporting style, just reply to this message. You'll probably get quoted in next issue, and I might even use one or two words from your original comment (but don't count on too much accuracy).

Question waiting for response: "Do you think you have a chance making it to the championships this year? How? How are you going to handle the current champion(s), Rougher and NoShows?"

Let's play ball and kick Butt! ~Jock Reporter (JockReport@aol.com)