Dateline: October 10, 1999 - AFT Vol. 3, Iss. 5

Rating: PG-13

Papas Battle the Pack

With 14 point lead, the Pack can see victory over Coach Robertson Papas this weekend thanks two only two of his players, Bruce of St. Louis and Freeman of Green Bay.

Earlier this week the coaches of the Papas and the pack had been strategically rearranging their rosters. Little did they know that they had the same plan to acquire Kevin Warner of St. Louis who this Sunday scored 3 touchdown passes and Tim Biakabutuka of Carolina.

With Coach Robertson's quick thinking and discipline to get his important business done before he starts work, he was able to beat Coach Plunkett who waited until 4:00 p.m. Thursday Morning (his time) to Biakabutuka of Carolina. Plunk's Pack still had one week contract on Warner who was taking the place of his older quarter back, Steve young while he was out with a concussion.

It seems that Warner will be a more permanent fixture within the Pack. The pack let go of Doug Flutie of Buffalo where he was picked up by Coach Rachel of the Rebel Rousers who must have had inside information about this particular release.

"I don't like it!" Commented Coach Wagner "I don't Like it at all! First The Mamas end up getting the inside scoop on players leaving the Papas, and now the Pack and rebels are plate sharing. If Coach Christine and Coach Kris start, I think the Kowboys and I better get together and come up with a plan."

Our beloved commissioner Miquel most eloquently put it, "ˇEl alborotador se Caga y Condena a Preparador Rachel! ˇEsa Maldición Wagner! "

Coach Wagner and his semi-Fierce Federalies are not doing so well this season if you had not noticed. They have not won a game all season and just lost to Kev's Kowboys. This may be the reason explain his bad attitude. That and the fact that he still doesn't have a shower in the house he just moved into.

"This happened to Coach Glenn while he was in charge of the league (with exception to the shower part I think)." Commented Coach Wagner. "It is known as the Condene la Maldición de Comisionado (Darn Commissioner's Curse).

Farfegnugen take revenge for Coach Plunkett's victory last week by almost doubling the Rebel Rousers score. Coach Kris of the Farfegnugen has yet to give up the #1 slot in the AFT League and with a 132 total points and one loss has nothing to worry about yet.

However, The Mamas and the Pack are creeping up fast. The Mamas tame the WildCats as quietly as only Coach Lori can. This has been the least outspoken in the AFT League. However, I bet you all don't know that recently she spoke with this reporter and brought up something about a pay off to make sure she wins. I just want to assure you and Coach Christine of the WildCats that this did not even cross my mind until she brought it up (rates are available by email only).

Farfegnugens (4-1-0)
Pack (4-1-0)
Mamas (3-2-0)
WildCats (3-2-0)
Rebels (3-2-0)
Papas (2-3-0) - depends on K. Johnson (NYJ)
Kowboys (2-3-0) - depends on Hakim (NYJ)
Federalies (0-5-0) - pretty much set and a given each week!

~Jock Reporter (JockReport@aol.com)